A few unanticipated perks were attached to being a reporter for the Valhalla High School football team, one of which was to be on the inside track of the team gossip mill.
Coach Joe was becoming increasingly dismayed with the lack of student body support at football games and had reached the end of his rope on attempts at various methods to generate interest. His tactics included everything from the ever-popular bon-fire pep rallies to personal indiscriminant intimidations and random cajoling of the general student body in the school hallways.
But student body enthusiasm was fairly difficult to promote at the lackluster level of competition and skill sets exhibited by a Class C high school sports schedule. The only interested parties were the parents of the athletes, while the only really good fan turnouts came when we played the New York School for the Deaf. This too was motivated only by the morbid curiosity of wondering how they would call their play signals, how the cheerleading line would function and what the cheers would sound like. Paradoxically in anticipation, the crowd silence was deafening.
However, one of our more creative cheerleaders, who was dating one of the football stars, obviated the problem by taking matters entirely into her own hands.
Her boyfriend told me there was going to be a special cheerleading performance at the next football game and that I would not be disappointed if I corralled my intellectual bookworm friends to go see the next home game. It was a relatively bleak rainy day, but the troops had been rounded up, all the while shivering and complaining that “this had better be good, or else,” as the cheerleading squad lined up for their first hurrah.
Linda, the cheerleader in question, began her routine, then finished the first cheer with a high jumping leg split that fluffed her mini-skirt up above her hips, disclosing a naked torso and a brief but completely uncensored view of her furry little brown-haired crotch. And then, she jumped again, and again. Needless to say, the fans went wild and there was little to hold back the crowds for the rest of the season’s games, with everyone full of the hopeful anticipation of repeat weekly performances.
She was able to get in few more exhibitions, until word got back to the higher authorities through the high school grapevine, who much to everyone’s great chagrin promptly monitored, then closed down the Saturday afternoon peep show.
Considering the year was 1964, Linda was well ahead of the curve that future liberated sexuality would soon bring to subliminal but not so prudish advertising as well as to the concept of adding a smattering of sex to professional sports. The Dallas football organization was not too far behind when they introduced their high stepping short pants camel-toed Cowboy’s cheerleaders.
In retrospect it may have gone even better for our football team if instead of turning toward the geek squad, Linda had turned toward the opposing quarterback when she jumped; thereby completely distracting the calls and cadences of the opposition’s offensive line; knowing that even if it was the deaf players, they still have eyes.
- Hut one, hut two, eyes left. Nookie.
- Huh? We don’t have that play in the book.
It might have also inspired a few subtle headlines for my ostracized sports reporting; as well as having to change our team mascot.
—Bares give Beavers a good licking—
I bet we could have gone 12 and 0: Maybe even had a shot at the New York State Class C Championship title, too.
There was an old rooster.
He was sittin’ on a fence.
He was rootin’ for Westlake.
Cause he had no sense
Satisfied. Oh satisfied. I’m satisfied
(Valhalla Vikings High School Cheer)
|Photo: © Karups Hometown Amateurs|