Not Really Sex

Not Really Sex

When Bill Clinton was called on the carpet for the Monica Lewinsky caper, he actually had the audacity to tell the American public that oral sex was not really sex in the true sense of the word.

This eventually filtered down to the high school level in which a survey indicated that so many teen-age girls believed their Commander in Chief that they felt as though they had been given a green light to give mouth service to their adolescent male boy friends. As a result, the rate of high school blowjobs immediately increased by an estimated 25-50%, as did the rate of oro-pharyngeal gonorrhea.

This was not as transparent however as a story once told to me by a woman who said that when she was a young teenager her 90-year-old grandmother took her aside one day to offer the following advice about life, love, men and dating.

  • Honey. Every man alive wants to marry a virgin. So if you’re smart about having sex you’ll save it up until you get married. If you don’t, that man you got your eye on might think you’re some tramp, or worse he might get you with child and either way just walk away on you. Now let me tell you how I handled your grandfather. You know I told you I met him when I was eighteen and we courted for two years before we took our vows. So when he started courting me, he would pick me up every Saturday night in his horse and buggy to take me out dancing. Then on every one of those date nights when he took me home, before I went inside I always made sure I gave him a nice good old fashioned blowjob. You see honey child, that way I always managed to keep my virginity but also made sure at the same time he wouldn’t be losing interest in me and go sneaking around behind my back looking for somebody else.

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