The Shopping Gene
Women (XX) have more DNA than men (XY), which is probably why women so often feel there is something considerably lacking in their male counterparts; especially so when it comes to boyfriends or husbands.
This is because there is more genetic material in the little extra leg on the X chromosome than in the Y chromosome.
Paradoxically, however, from a mother’s point of view, sons fall into a specially exempted category of male: the Favorite.
As a countervailing argument, men could claim that it is all this extra genetic material that makes women tend to drive them up the wall and equally why men will never be able to completely understand them.
Again however, many daughters are also exempted by the special rules that apply to being: Daddy’s Little Girl.
I used to tell my office manger that all the things causing men to complain about the female gender is located on that unbalanced extra leg of the second X chromosome, a place where we can always look to find such things as:
- X: I need to go shopping.
- Y: Again? But you just went yesterday.
- X: My clothes still don’t match
- X: Here’s your list of chores.
- Y: More?
- X: Why won’t you ever go shopping with me?
- Y: I have too many chores
- X: We need a bigger house.
- Y: Why? You hate to clean this one.
- X: Then we’ll have to get a maid.
- X: Let’s re-paint the bathroom.
- Y: Again?
- X: Let’s re-paint the bathroom
- Y: You mean today?
- X: We need another vacation.
- Y: What? We didn’t even unpack yet from the last one.
- X: My mother is coming over for dinner.
• Y: Again? But she was just here yesterday.
• X: You hate my mother and I hate you for hating her.
• Y: Not really. It’s just like an additive drug. Small doses are always OK. Not over doses.
- X: I need a new car.
• Y: Why?
• X: I just wrecked the new one.
• Y: Again?
• X: You didn’t even ask if I was hurt.
• Y: Obviously not.
• X: You could care less. You even love your dog more than you love me.
• Y: You bought the dog, then told me it would be not only be therapeutic for my depression, but it would always be “Ours to keep and love forever.” Capital O.
• X: I need some new shoes.
• Y: Fifty pairs aren’t enough?
• X: Yes. But none of them match my new clothes
• X: But you just played golf yesterday.
• Y: Uh oh. Hand over the chores list.
• X: Not tonight. I have a headache.
• Y: Again? You just had one yesterday.
• X: You already know they can last for weeks
• X: What do you mean, what do I mean?
• Y: Uh oh.
• X: Do we have any chocolate?
• Y: Uh oh.
• X: Why did you say that? Uh oh. It drives me crazy.
• Y: Because Choc-o-late is how I spell PMS
She told me this was a completely misogynist view of the world, that there was definitely something lacking all right, but only in my logic and not in the lost piece of Y DNA. Then, because we just had a patient cancellation, she suggested I should take her out to lunch.
She said the restaurant with the double chocolate mousse cake would do just fine.
Realizing my timing was not in synch with the female lunar cycle, which on certain specific days will automatically relegate humor to the back burner; in quickly absorbing the hint that it had been my misfortune to pick the wrong day of that particular month to test out my new theory, I mustered a cheesy little smile and said;
- OK. And I’ll drive too.
Too much Too little
|©||Queens University of Charlotte|